Much Goings On

I’ve been pretty quiet here as of late, and I apologize. I’m just really busy.

I have a planned trip to NYC tomorrow for work, and we are also getting ready for a big exam down in Flordia in just two weeks. I’ll be going to Florida for a week to work on the exam.

As a result, I’ve been slammed at work.

Promise to catch up soon.

SMOOCHIES

Advertisements

Sometimes It Makes My Heart Hurt

So, this past weekend was nice…we headed down to Chincoteague and enjoyed a few days in our favorite place. I spent Saturday with my hubby and it was just great.

Except…

We went crabbing on Saturday. It’s one of our favorite things to do…go down to the Crabbing Pier with a cooler of beer, a pack of chicken, and a few traps. Love it, and we have so much fun together. This past Saturday was no different. We had been there about half an hour when a young woman came along with her son. He was going into the fourth grade, and typical boy – but well-behaved and polite. Bob had gone back to the trailer to make another beer run (no, we aren’t lushes…I had only packed one for each of us), so I started chatting with this woman, and her son who was named Shane. My hubby came back and they moved to the end of the crabbing pier. It was their first time visiting our campground and they were kind of taking it all in.

As we crabbed, I notice Shane, watching every move we made. I leaned over to Bob and told him to take a couple of traps down, so Shane could pull them up. Shane was a little hesitant for about all of five minutes, until he landed his first, and then it was on….his mom kept trying to get him to go back to their campsite, but Shane was having too much fun (he caught a couple of keepers, by the way). His mom asked if he could stay with us while she ran back to her site to let them know where she was. She was gone nearly an hour, but he was a really good kid, and he was having such a good time.

When Shane’s mom did return (I didn’t catch her name), she came back with her girls – one 12 and one 15. They had been watching a movie and Mom told them they needed to get out and commune with nature. We gave the girls a couple of crab traps, and they got into a competition with Shane as to who would catch the keepers. The girls were ok with pulling up the traps, not so much with actually letting the crabs out of them, but it was a fun afternoon.

But my brain…well, it just wouldn’t be quiet. It kept whispering things to me like, “You could have been a mom like that…” or “wouldn’t it have been nice if we could have had a couple of kids?”

Ugh.

Sometimes I am caught in the middle…I don’t know what to call myself…am I childless? Am I technically infertile? I never considered myself infertile…I mean, my parts worked…but now, they are gone. So, am I infertile? Menopausal? I just don’t know.

Either way it hurts.

All Clear

My mammogram results came back and everything is good. No changes from last year. Giggitygiggity.

Work has been crazy, and will continue this way through the end of the summer. I’ve been slammed. This week in particular has been cray-cray. Can not wait to get to the Eastern Shore tomorrow. I need another day by the pool with a good book to relax and unwind.

So, one of my guilty pleasures (beside coffee and chocolate) is reality TV. And I will admit it, I like to watch the Breaking Amish shows on TLC. Probably because we are not far from Lancaster here. So (spoiler alert) one of the characters (who is not Amish) has stage 4 bone cancer. Still brings back way too many memories. I can’t handle watching that stuff. References to cancer and treatment for me on television are triggery for me. So I guess I won’t be watching that anymore.

Short post is short…my brain isn’t functioning enough to write this morning.

They Did the Mash…They Did the Booobie Mash

As part of my Lynch syndrome monitoring, (the genetic deviation that led to my cancer and family history), my oncologist requires an annual mammogram.  Now, women over the age of 40 should have annual mammograms anyway, but my oncologist actually reviews mine to ensure there are no nasties in there that may be Lynch related.  Now, Breast Cancer is NOT one of the cancers typically related to Lynch syndrome, and thankfully, no one in my family has had a diagnosis (other than like a 3rd cousin on my father’s side), I have an over-protective oncologist.  I’m ok with that.  Better safe than sorry, you know?

I had my appointment last night after work, around 6pm.  Which means that at least I got to wear deodorant to work (I had time to go home and wash it off before my test).  My co-workers should be pretty appreciative of that.  Seriously folks, women do not “glow”…they sweat.  Especially in July in the mid-atlantic when it’s 1,000 degrees in the shade and a million percent humidity.

Now, last year, I had my mammogram done at the Breast Center at the University of MD Medical Center, in Baltimore, which was no big deal because although we moved to DE, at the time I was still working in Balto, so I could walk over at lunch.  This year, I made the appointment here in DE, at the Women’s Imaging Center.  I made the appointment on Monday, and the actual appointment was two days later.  They asked if I could get my previous results, but I couldn’t do it in time, because, hello…Baltimore.  So they are requesting they be faxed.  I explained my diagnosis and reason for the mammogram, and told them my oncologist would be comparing the results himself, but they still insisted on getting copies.  They also asked me if I wanted to wait for my results, but I declined.  Oh, and they offered a 3D mammogram, but it’s not covered by insurance, so I declined.

Honestly, I’ve had two mammograms now, and while they aren’t the most comfortable thing in the world (there’s nothing like dangling by your boob from a cold X-ray plate) they are not that bad.  I mean, it wasn’t painful, just a little awkward.  Especially when my tech informed me that my nipple like to “turn away from the camera.”  Uh, hello…I have 40-year-old boobs who used to be filled with a lot more fat…you’re lucky you didn’t have to reach down to my knees to grab them.  But it wasn’t unpleasant.  Neither of my mammograms were.    Maybe it’s because I’ve had so many tests that were 1,000 times worse (internal exams, colonoscopies…anything requiring an IV, chemo…etc.).  This was a piece of cake.

So get out there ladies, and get those tatas checked.  It’s no biggie.  Unless, I guess, you have biggies.  But still…at least no one is shoving a finger in a spot that fingers were not meant to go, right?