Something had to give.

I was overwhelmed.


At my wit’s end.

I have been working 10 hour days at a job that is turning out to be much more demanding than I originally anticipated.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my job.  LOVE IT.  Surprisingly, it is exactly the challenge I’ve been looking for all these years.  It provides me exposure across the company, and gets my name out there.  I’m doing something different every single day, and I’m not really working on any one project for more than a couple of months at a time.

But it is W.O.R.K.

In addition to that, I’m traveling to NYC every couple of weeks.

And school.  OH MY GAWD.  This class was hell.  Too many “tick the boxes” assignments, lots of reading, and group work.  With a group of folks 10 years younger than me with small children – which meant they couldn’t meet until 9pm at night.

Folks, by 9pm I am toast.

I was working 10 hour days, and then school work literally every night, plus all day Saturday and half a day Sunday.

My system was shorting out.

It manifested itself in extreme leg cramps, which took away all possibility of sleep.

And so, I sucked it up.

And I did a lot of internal looking.

And lots of talking with my husband.

And I decided that one masters degree is enough.

I mean, who am I kidding?  I have my dream job.  I am quite happy with where I am and where I’m going with the company now.

And I am still recovering from cancer.  And chemo.

So, I dropped the class.

As well as the degree program.

I felt bad, because I left my other four team mates high and dry, but I had to think of myself first.  And the good news, I’m getting more sleep.  I was able to sit all day on Sunday and veg.  I knitted.  I picked up a book – that had a plot line.  I enjoyed football with my husband.  And I had no more leg cramps (ok, the muscle relaxers might have had something to do with that).

I feel good about my decision.

If cancer has taught me anything, it’s taught me that I need to put myself first.  And I thought I was doing that, going to school.  But cancer also taught me to listen to my body.  Which I did. 

So, I’m happy.  I’m typing away from my officer here in NYC (I have one here and one in Wilmington, DE now – I’m IMPORTANT!)  I’m listening to a conference call, and I am NOT thinking about the 80 bajillion things I have to do for class this week.  And life is good.

OH – I also have an appointment for my tattoo.  I’m so excited about it.  December 7th.  The deposit has been made and the plans are in process.   I can’t wait to commemorate this battle!


2 thoughts on “Uncle

  1. I was exhausted just reading about your schedule. Ugh. I didn’t know how you managed. 🙂 There comes a time when even willpower is not enough. We have to accept this, and that it’s really ok. It is. Hugs

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