So, here we are, a year out from my hysterectomy, and things are still, well, not quite back to normal. I guess they probably never will be. Surgical menopause IS different from natural menopause because you are thrown into it. And it kind of sucks.
I was hoping by now that the hot flashes would kind of calm down. And during the day, they had. Night sweats, well, not so much. But lately, this past week, they hot flashes during the day have stepped up their game. Nothing like being in in a feezing cold office only to be struck by a hot flash and feel like you are going to combust from the inside. Then you get all sweaty, and just as quickly as it starts, it’s over. And you are sweaty, and once again in a freezing office. So you are even colder.
Boo. Boo on that, I say.
Other things are still not what they should be. I have been stretching the old vajayjay as prescribed, but it is still tight and scarred down there. Gyno exams hurt, and I tend to tear. And they keep asking if Bob and I have had relations. Um, no. Haven’t tried it yet. First of all, with the big old lack of hormones floating around, the desire isn’t really front and center. Plus, deep down, I’m scared it will be painful, and I don’t want to throw him off and have him feel like it’s his fault. Plus there is that whole “My mom is in the next room thing” which was exciting in highschool, but now that I’m nearly 41, not so much.
I am trying to take steps to make the menopause go easier. Cleaner eating (not totally clean, as I don’t buy into that, and neither does my oncologist), a lot more exercise, and trying to get back to “normal.” Plus, Bob and I are going to try to “get away” a little more. Just some time for us – date nights, week ends away…
I guess this is my new normal. Wonder how long it will be until I’m actually used to it?