Let’s Talk About Sex

Or lack thereof.  Boys, if you wanna head out, I understand.

Are they gone?


So, brachytherapy did a number on my vagina.  Scar tissue.  Atrophy.  Pain.  And I feel horrible for my husband, because I want to resume relations with him, but there is no freaking way.

Plus, I have to have a vaginal exam for every three months for the foreseeable future.

The general therapy is the use of a vaginal dilator.  But it is excruciatingly painful to use.  So, I have to figure this thing out.  I know they have smaller ones. Maybe I need to get one of those.


These are the new things I have to worry about.


5 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About Sex

  1. You also had a hysterectomy too, did you not? Chemo and hysterectomy alone zap your sex drive and take time to recover from. What you are going through in addition is pain that I cannot imagine. Look into a smaller dialator, but also be aware that your husband loves you and would not find enjoyment if he was hurting you. I know it is frustrating, but it is part of the prolonged healing process as well. Just keep plodding along and eventually it will be a new normal that is happy.

    • Yeah, I need to call and see if they have a smaller one. The one I have is currently labeled as “small” (um, I am not sure who makes those designations, but it sure isn’t *small*). Also, I was reading some more last night on the interwebs and got some further clarifications on instructions, so I’m going to try those as well. I don’t see my gynecological oncologist again until June.

      I’m not so worried about my husband so much as the vaginal exams – the last one was incredibly painful, and I tore and bled, a lot. I also learned that I could walk backwards away from the evil speculum on my hiney cheeks.

      Sigh – you would think nature would provide us poor cancer patients with some kind of break along the way, no?

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